The horrors of sandal shopping

March 1, 2010

It’s been well established that I love shoe shopping.  That’s no secret.  What you may not know is that I hate sandals.  Therefore, I hate to shop for sandals.  We’re not talking cute open-toed heels, we’re talking about flat dreadful sandals.  I own one pair of flat leather sandals in black, the Keens I bought for Disneyland, and two pairs of flip-flops (I would only have one pair, but I thought I lost my old ones so I bought some new flip-flops.  They still have the tags on them because I found my old pair).  I also have one pair of Grecian nude-leather lace up sandals from high school that are actually really cute, but between wrapping leather laces around your ankle and the 1/4″ flat sole, they aren’t exactly comfortable.  Why do I hate flat sandals?  Because 99% of them are devastatingly ugly or uncomfortable.  Most of the soles are so flat it actually hurts more to walk in them than in heels because there is nothing to absorb the shock.  I don’t like when they’re too sporty or granola-crunchy (Birkinstocks are my nemesis); I don’t like woven anything, especially leather; I can’t stand gladiator sandals, since they cut my poor short legs off at the ankle, and most of them have a closed back (which I hate with open toe shoes); I don’t really like that strip of material between my toes, and it’s hard to find a pair of sandals without it; I’m really turned off by anything that looks like it belongs in the Michael Kors resort collection, particularly when the embellishments include fake coins or turquoise.  My biggest beef with flat sandals is the blatant abuse by the Flip-Flop Nation.  Flip-flops are not shoes, they are for shower, beach, and pool only, especially those horrible plastic ones.  I can excuse leather flip-flops, I suppose, but those awful plastic ones with your cute sundress?  Sloppy and lazy looking.

I digress.  I need a pair of brown leather flat sandals and I’ve been shopping for them online because I hate shopping for them in the first place.  I looked at about 3,800 pair between Endless, DSW, Piperlime, Macy’s, Nordstrom’s, Bloomingdale’s, Overstock, and Bluefly’s websites.  I found two pair that I liked in my price range that were brown (not tan or nude, but dark brown).  Since I can’t really shop for shoes online, I bought them both and will be returning one pair after I decide which ones I like better.  I have no use for two pairs of brown leather flat sandals.  One pair looks really comfortable with lots of arch support and cushioning, and they’re pretty cute.  The other pair looks to have a moderately comfortable sole, and the leather might start to hurt against the upper part of the foot after awhile, but they’re super cute.  Really cute vs. really comfortable is a tough decision here, since I’m not getting them to either walk around all day or wear out to fancy dinner.  I need to feel and see them on my feet, I guess.  I will keep you posted, dear internet, of my decision.


3 Responses to “The horrors of sandal shopping”

  1. Anna Says:

    you shouldn’t be so mean towards those plastic flip-flops. Not all the world (me) loves shoes/dressing up as much as you do. We do our best- you know? 🙂

    • Yes, but plastic flip-flops as shoes is the equivalent of wearing sweatpants or pajama pants as real pants, or a swimsuit top as a shirt. You wouldn’t wear your sweatpants with dress shoes, so why would you wear your cute sundress with plastic flip-flops? Besides, they’re destroying your arches. There are alternatives that aren’t super expensive or fussy that don’t look as sloppy. I’m just sayin’.

      • Anna Says:

        Well there you go. It is a moot issue. I don’t wear sundresses! Also- VS models wear swimsuit tops as shirts All The Time. That isn’t fashion? (j/k)

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